5 ways to have more intimacy in your marriage (or how to be more than roommates):
1- Take off the emotional armor- There are times you need to protect yourself from getting hurt so you need to put up a wall or put on “emotional armor” to avoid “wearing your feelings on your sleeves” (board room, important business meeting, in sports, with a parent who continually is deceiving or manipulative, etc.). But, if you don’t take it off around those who love you and are closest to you, and you never show your fears and vulnerabilities, you not only avoid getting hurt, you avoid getting close.
2- Realize sex is more than physical. Women so often feel that sex is just a physical need for their husband, so they undervalue the importance of meeting this need. But, if we realize how important it is to them emotionally, and is often the number one way they feel close and loved by you, it changes everything. Think of it this way, if your husband told you no to talking or spending time with you, it would hurt, and for sure affect your closeness to him. Same for sex for him. This mind shift can affect a lot of things, but definitely increase your intimacy.
3- Pray together. This is a hard one for many couples, but for believers, it is such an important one. I would encourage you to take small steps in this area. Pray as a family. Read a written devotional prayer. This will lead you in the right direction of praying in a more real, intimate way with your spouse.
4- Provide a safe place for your partner to share. If you want your spouse to open up, you have to provide a non-critical, nonjudgmental place for them to share. Otherwise they will not open up. I didn’t say they will not struggle, they just won’t talk to you about it. And nothing puts up a wall that blocks intimacy more than one person hiding their true self from their partner.
5- Spend time together. This may seem obvious, but often couples put much more time in to their kids’ sporting events, their tennis or golf game or their friendships than to their marriage. Make it a priority to carve out some quality time together. Put date nights on the calendar. Plan a weekend getaway. Get up early on Saturday morning and talk over coffee. Go for a walk. Whatever it is that you enjoy, do it together!