This is not going to be shocking. This may step on your toes. And it’s really so simple to do Put down your phone. This is the complaint I keep hearing from couples in counseling. “She is always on her phone.” ” He’d rather be on his phone than talk to me.” ” We’re in the middle of a conversation, and he’s sending an email.” “We’re laying in bed, and she’s checking Facebook.” Most of us struggle with this. It’s Read More
Thoughts from the counseling couch
Do you want your marriage to go from good to great?
We get oil changes every 3-6 months to keep our car running well. Hopefully, we get physicals just to check in on our overall health and see what changes we may need to make. Why don’t we do this for the most important relationship in our life? I am offering a tune-up for marriages! I recommend marriage boosters for couples who are not in distress, but just want to do a check-in on their marriage! I will walk through conversations for Read More
Weekend enrichment for therapists
My friend and colleague, Kelly Borque, LMFT, and I are excited to offer a retreat for therapists and their spouses. A place to experience what you give your clients, and see first hand what itR… Source: Weekend enrichment for therapists
5 ways to have more intimacy in marriage (or how to be more than roommates)
5 ways to have more intimacy in your marriage (or how to be more than roommates): 1- Take off the emotional armor- There are times you need to protect yourself from getting hurt so you need to put up a wall or put on “emotional armor” to avoid “wearing your feelings on your sleeves” (board room, important business meeting, in sports, with a parent who continually is deceiving or manipulative, etc.). But, if you don’t take it off around those Read More
I could never tell her that!
So many men feel that they cannot share their struggles with their wives. Their inadequacies. Their failures. And often, unfortunately, they’re right. Maybe he’s shared that he’s worried about his job security, and this causes his wife to worry and add pressure, and so he decided it would be better to keep that to himself. Maybe he shared that he occasionally struggles with lust or pornography, and she panics and unintentionally shames him, so he mentally says “I can’t share that part of me again.” Read More
When she’s not in the mood…part 2
In the last post, I talked about the “primal panic” that happens when you feel rejected, alone, and that your partner is not available to you (when she says no to sex, he won’t connect emotionally, etc.). That panic is actually a cry for connection…I so badly want to connect, but I feel that you aren’t there for me! Human nature says we have to avoid this feeling, this pain of disconnection. So we tend to do one of two Read More