When she’s not in the mood…part 2

In the last post, I talked about the “primal panic” that happens when you feel rejected, alone, and that your partner is not available to you (when she says no to sex, he won’t connect emotionally, etc.).  That panic is actually a cry for connection…I so badly want to connect, but I feel that you aren’t there for me! Human nature says we have to avoid this feeling, this pain of disconnection.  So we tend to do one of two Read More

Why he gets so upset when you’re not in the mood…

In the book Hold Me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson uses the term “primal panic”  to describe what happens to us when we feel like we are losing connection with our loved ones.  For example, if he initiates sex or physical closeness with you and you’re not in the mood.  Or if you want to talk after work, and he blows you off and goes straight for the TV.  It’s like it sets off alarm bells, warning us that we are alone!  It Read More

Do we need counseling?

5 signs you may need to go to a marriage counselor: 1- You feel like roommates or co-parents. It is way too easy to fall into this rut if you aren’t actively investing in your marriage. It can feel a bit like Groundhog’s Day sometimes…come home from work, tag team with chores, chauffeur kids around, sleep…start over. If you aren’t careful, you will miss out on all of the JOY of marriage 2- Your sex life is lacking. I often Read More