Is it possible to win a fight, when it means your spouse has to lose?

When you think about it, it’s easy to get into a fight with your spouse, and the intent becomes to win! To prove your point, get your way, show your spouse he/she is wrong. But do you really win, when the one you love loses? I encourage couples to look at conflict differently…your spouse is not the enemy, they are actually on your team. If you’re fighting about money, it’s helpful to realize you and your spouse are actually on the same side, wanting the best for your family (even if you see the situation from different perspectives). Or if it’s about the kids, I’m sure you both care a lot about your kids and want the best for them! But it’s easy to see things only from your side, and assume your way is the right way. Try this (it can be super hard): think about it from your spouse’s viewpoint, and give him/her every benefit of the doubt…assume he/she wants the very best for you and your family. You may find that they aren’t out to get you after all, they just have a different way of looking at things. Talk through the issue. Keep after it. DON’T shove it under the rug…it will eventually come back out, but uglier! And even if you come up on one of those “we have to agree to disagree” issues, remember you’re ultimately on the same team!