So many couples get caught in the trap of scorekeeping! Who did the most this week, who got less sleep (speaking to you, parents with young kids), who spent the most, who did more housework, on and on! It’s easy to have a running tally in your head of how much you’ve done vs. what your spouse has done.
But if you think about this scorekeeping philosophy, if you win, but your spouse loses, your relationship loses! Try to think of your marriage as a doubles game in tennis…you are on the same team. Any time you do something helpful, you both win. When your spouse does something helpful, you both win. Or in the reverse, if your spouse does something hurtful, instead of building resentment, how can you help pull the relationship along. If you get caught in the scorekeeping trap, try to shift your thinking into a team approach!