In the last post, I talked about the “primal panic” that happens when you feel rejected, alone, and that your partner is not available to you (when she says no to sex, he won’t connect emotionally, etc.). That panic is actually a cry for connection…I so badly want to connect, but I feel that you aren’t there for me! Human nature says we have to avoid this feeling, this pain of disconnection. So we tend to do one of two Read More
Tag: marriage counseling
Fighting with your spouse: healthy or not?
John Gottman, therapist, author and leading expert on marriages, says what distinguishes the happiest couples from the rest is not the ability to avoid fights, but the ability to repair after the fight. So rather than focusing on avoiding conflict, I think it makes sense to look at what is underneath the conflict. Oftentimes, couples seem to be having the same argument over and over, but don’t really know what’s going on underneath the fight. Usually, we see the secondary Read More
Do we need counseling?
5 signs you may need to go to a marriage counselor: 1- You feel like roommates or co-parents. It is way too easy to fall into this rut if you aren’t actively investing in your marriage. It can feel a bit like Groundhog’s Day sometimes…come home from work, tag team with chores, chauffeur kids around, sleep…start over. If you aren’t careful, you will miss out on all of the JOY of marriage 2- Your sex life is lacking. I often Read More